Liz Schauer

Sticks and stones have nothing on words.

Words do more than bruise and batter;

They stick.

Words linger and haunt

Long after the scars of childhood have faded,

Long after the bruises dissipated.

I am left with only words.

I can hear them still:

I don’t want to be with you.

And then she was gone.

Year upon years have gone by.

I have long forgotten the sound of her voice,

Yet I hear her words.

The deep pain of abandonment

They spoke into my life

Told me since that day:

You are not worth it.

The unconditional love of a mother for her child

Is painfully conditional.

Her words spoke the conditions:

It’s not what I wanted.

All attempts to forget

The words that altered my life

Fail.

 

I needed new words.

Not from her;

Those could not be undone.

I longed for new words.

Words that said:

You are my child.

            I will not leave you.

            I love the orphan.

            You.

            Are.

            Mine.

Words that touched the soul.

Words that were unbelievable.

Almost.